100 Ways To Annoy Your Team
by britishtwat
Summary: Yes, they had a list.
1. 1 Sing the batman theme incessantly

** 1 0 0 W A Y S T O A N N O Y Y O U R T E AM**

**Oh yes, there was a list.**

**1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. **

Connor stood back, leaning against the ADD, studying the people on the other side of the room with great interest. They looked very important. Very very important.

They were wearing suits, just like Lester, which made them look important, and were speaking words that made them sound important. But he hadn't a frigging clue what they were on about. Abby joined him by his side and looked up, blue eyes shifting around his face then back to his eyes, raising her eyebrows.

'Coming then?' Connor looked at her confused.

'Coming where?'

'The **meeting.**' She said it sarcastically, like it was some sort of 'save the earth' nonsense.

The groaned, pushed off against the side and walked over to where Becker and Sarah were already stood, looking like they were waiting for a death sentence. It would have been more exciting than this anyhow.

Lester mentioned them to go in, and they were sat at a long table, which they presumed would be filled with members of the government or something. They filed in, and took their places, looking at each other with a grimace.

The 'committee' took its place in the adjacent seats and stared at the team as if hardly able to believe what they were seeing.

Connor had the urge to ask;  
_  
What? Never seen a t-shirt saying 'Working class hero before?_

But he just bit his lip, had a sly glance at Becker and sat back.

'Now, we are C.O.A.R. Committee of Anomaly Research, and we want to know what you've done with the money we have been supplying us with.'

Connor looked at Becker, who looked At Sarah, who looked at Abby, who looked at Danny, who looked at Jenny who looked at Lester

They were screwed.

Becker scratched his neck. 'Umm, we caught a Dracorex?' he said it apprehensively, like he was going to get shot on sight.

They each looked at each other, they had nothing, and they needed to get out of here fast.

Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na, Na…………

It was so quiet they could barely hear it, but they just managed to, they turned to stare at Connor, who was gradually getting louder with the humming. He was playing with the compass attached to his wrist, paying no attention what-so-ever.

na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

By now they had all joined in, still quietly, but hoping it would be just enough of a distraction to make Lester think maybe his phone was ringing?

'-I believe, that though the research here is imperative to the safely of the general public and the welfare state-

na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

'-That maybe funding could be used a little more wisely, as the implications for the county-

na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

'-Could be huge, **WILL YOU STOP THAT**.'

Abruptly they all came to a halt in the proceedings and looked around innocently, well actually they looked smug.

'I thought I could come speak to you like civilised individuals but I see that is not possible! Ill just speak with your boss then shall I?"

Lester looked up with a worried face as they got to leave, his face begging them to take him with them. They all smiled, their faces full of relief that they had put a stop to the proceedings before it happened.

The last thing they saw was the face of Lester, head in hands as the man started his speech again.

He had 23 pages.

**  
Please...review. Im aiming to get to 100 Chapters!**


	2. 2 The memo field of all your checks

** 1 0 0 W A Y S T O A N N O Y Y O U R T E AM**

**Oh yes, there was a list.**

2. The memo field of all your checks, write something stupid. 

Lester rifled through his draws searching for a pen, the one which he always had on the top left corner of his desk, next to the small potted plant, adjacent to his computer.

Under the pile of paper's he found it, picked it up and started writing the teams pay checks. He would so get them back for what had happened in the meeting, in the most simple and convenient way possible..

* * *

Becker and Sarah were on the way to the bank, to cash in their pay. They had no idea that they would earn so much for this job, and they loved it anyway, but when Lester had given them their pay checks they had laughed.

Connor and Abby weren't due theirs to the end of the month.

Becker walked in and handed it over to the woman, she looked at it, raised an eyebrow and laughed. It was a giggle, then she showed it to the other guy, and he laughed harder. Until finally she sat their laughing, unable to stop as she waved the cheque in front of her face fanning herself.

'What?' Becker asked worriedly.

'Your memo… "For sensual massage."

He looked at her in horror, then grabbed Sarah's out of her hand, read it and laughed harder than the woman had.

Read it out loud to the full horror of Sarah.

"For sexual favours."

Sarah looked at him 'Im going to bloody kill him.'

'Oh, so thats what you and Lester have been up to-

He didn't get the chance to finish before his 'Sensual Massage' got rammed down his throat.

**  
Please...review. Im aiming to get to 100 Chapters!**


	3. 3 Write random stuff and cc: to boss

** 1 0 0 W A Y S T O A N N O Y Y O U R T E AM**

**Oh yes, there was a list.**

3. Write completley irrelevent things and cc: then to your boss.

Connor and Becker sat at the workstation in Nick's old office In complete silence. They had a full report on the function of the ADD, to finish by tonight. Becker didn't even look up, pressed send.

Connor's inbox pinged.

'Right well im going, you cc: that to Lester okay?'

Connor nodded in agreement.

'Good.'

And with that turned on his heels and went out, he waited until he could hear the clatter before opening it.

What harm would changing it a little be?  


* * *

From: .com  
To: .com

cc:Anomaly Detection Device functions

Dear Sir Lester.

The function of the ADD is as posed- Quantum physics dictate, that apparently this cannot be true.

But yes, Connor Temple is a genius so therefore, he changes the fabric of reality.

Now, cloning sheep is much less important, but the biomechanics are the same, you take what you want, and leave what you don't.

A hurricane may travel fast, but the damage it makes is irreversable.

Some say, that he has no mouth, and the helmet is actually his head.

What im trying to say is that you're a bastard and do your own bloody work. It fucking detects anomalies!

Lots of Love

Hilary Becker.

* * *

Becker dropped by on Connor in the morning.

'Did you mail it?'

Connor didn't look up. 'Mmm.'

'And?'

'How the hell am I meant to know, you wrote it, go ask him yourself.' A slow smile spread across his face.

He turned and walked out the room, clicking boots on the tiles and Connor scooted his chair back and leaned out the doorway to watch.

There was no way to describe their faces, only that Becker was halfway between anger and repentance, as Lester waved it in his face.

In short he had four hours to do it again.

Connor had four hours to live.

* * *

**What do you think guys? Ill personally get back to everyone that reviews, because i feel like being nice and kind. Seeing New Moon tommorrow, omc, cant wait! After school! Its already been three months since Primeval was renewed, how fast has that gone eh? Love you guys loads xx**


	4. 4 Ruin a novel by writing it on the page

**100 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR TEAM.**

**Oh yes, they were going through a list.**

4. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

**Dont read this if you havent read The Twilight Saga's: Breaking Dawn.**

Becker looked at Sarah, reading her new book, _Breaking Dawn, _she had completely specified nobody to tell her what happens at the end, so Becker was banned from talking about it. He already knew what happened, having being forced to read it on recommendation by Abby and Connor, who also were dragged in by Jenny. She pushed her hair away from her face as she read, deep chocolate eyes scanning from page to page quickly, hurriedly like she was winning some race.

Maybe he'd spoil it for her just a little bit.

She put the marker on the page, swivelled out of her chair, gave him a bright smile and slipped out the room. She'd only just started the book, so writing it at the middle would take too long.

He picked up a biro, chewing the end and sat down. He smiled.

It was some time later that Sarah walked back into the room, checked around- for Becker was no where to be seen at that moment, and she was sure that she hadn't been gone that long; opened the book, swore and then screamed.

'BECKER.' she screamed, they could hear it in the control room, it ricocheted around the ARC, hiting his ears at earsplitting volume.

He came innocently into the room, only to abruptly have a book, a hardback one that was quite thick and heavy- thrown at his head, he ducked just in time and it caught some of his hair and bounced of the wall- earning a furious shriek from Sarah. He looked into the her eyes and smiled.

Scrawled on the front page was:

_He gets her pregnant, turns her into a vampire, Jacob imprints on their daughter and they live happily ever after, Ooh and the Volturi nearly kill them. it's a page turner. Enjoy._

'I HATE YOU!' she spat at him, and he stood there amused for a moment as she glared.

He gave her a smirk, raised his eyebrows and walked away, leaving her stood there fuming. She couldn't believe what he had just done. She had worked her way through the saga for this moment, only to have it ruined by that infernal soilder.

His only thought however was that she was cute when she was angry.

* * *

**Sorry Ive been away so long guys, and I feel like I neglected you :( Ive done more chapters to update, I was just behind alot, and my science and R.E GCSE's are coming up next week *eep* Love you all guys, lots and lots. I have loads to do- ill update soon. BTW, if your bored, check out my other stories. I recommend- if you are a Primeval fan 'I Can't Let Go.' or 'Fatal Mistake.' for Twilight.**


	5. 5 Stand behind someone and spray Lysol

**100 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR TEAM.**

**Oh yes, they were going through a list.**

5. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 

Today seemed to be a busy day for Lester, he was running around the floors, walkways and office's like a headless chicken, picking random things up, throwing them down and making noises as if he was looking for something, had found it- and was disappointed.

Connor narrowed his eyes, as for the sixth time that hour, he passed his desk and ruffled his papers. He made an annoyed noise under his breath that if Lester heard he didn't acknowledge.

He picked up the bottle of Lysol on his desk, and for the sixth time that hour, sprayed his work surface where Lester had rubbed his hands over it. They must have had print on them, because it was leaving behind the most terrible mess.

Lester wafted past the ADD, and that, for Connor was breaking point.

Nobody touched his technology.

He stood a few steps behind Lester as he peered to inspect something on the reception desk, and then, when he reached out.

_Spppst._

And so it carried on, for a solid hour as Lester pottered and Connor sprayed, annoyed that Lester had to keep touching everything that was not meant for him, and Lester gradually getting more annoyed at Connor for doing it behind him.

Finally, he reached Connor's desk again and by now had worked out what he was doing.

He reached out, ruffling his papers so badly they skittered off the desk and pens cascaded to the floor. Then, stood breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon.

Lester turned.

"What, was that?" he asked, with a raised eyebrow as if Connor had taken his pants off and danced the mambo.

"Disinfectant." was his curt reply.

"And why," Lester said patiently. "Are you spraying everything I touch?"

Connor narrowed his eyes at his boss. "I think," he said in an equal tone. "you know."

But Lester wasn't going to be at a loss this time. "No, please enlighten me." he said as if he was questioning a new type of smoothie.

Connor's eye twitched, he leant forward and hissed. "What. Are. You. Looking. For."

Lester leant backwards as he did so. "T-The deposit for the new equipment fax."

Connor's eye twitched again. "At about an hour ago, you gave it to Becker."

Oh, thought Lester. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"And where is it now?"

"Covered in Lysol." was Connor's only response, with a smile.


	6. 6 Holler random numbers

**100 WAYS TO ANNOY YOUR TEAM.**

Oh yes, they were going through a list.

6. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 

It was a very quiet day at the ARC, and although it was normally a bustling place, it was silent. Abby very dramatically groaned and flung herself across the desk, causing Connor to flinch back.

'This is boring.' drawled Becker, inspected something that had come off the ADD in his hands, the little black screw wasn't providing him with much entertainment.

Lester came blustering through the doors then, looking surprised to see them in so late, and took a seat at the other side of the room. Nearly always preferring to sit inside the comfort of his full glass office- a luxury that was not available today, as it was having its monthly clean. He was on the phone, as usual and had turned away from them. But they could still hear him.

'Yes, I do have my credit number. Yes, I have it right here.'

He seemed to fumble around in his jacket, patting his pockets until he withdrew the credit card. He started to reel off the number engraved on the back.

'8446-

'Nine!' shouted Connor across the room

'Six.' Becker followed suit.

'Three.'

'Five.'

'Eleven.'

'Seven.'

'Nine.'

'-79. Hang on a second, forget I said that.'

He turned around to them, eyes blazing, as he caught them in the middle of working out the next number. Connor picked his hand up, and waved limply from the other side of the room. He was glad for that space between them.

'Pay cut.' Lester mouthed across the room.

'We get paid?" Connor asked Abby.


End file.
